Monday, April 15, 2013

Kraang!


Okay, confession time: I love the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show on Nickelodeon. Brian started recording it a few months ago (because nostalgia), and I got totally sucked in. The turtles are funny and endearing, Splinter is cute and fuzzy, and the storylines are fun. The whole show is just fun. Why I really love it, though: the Kraang. Whoever came up with these squidly aliens and wrote their dialog has either been around government Requests for Proposals (RFPs) or has crazy talent for redundancy.

Read these quotes and tell me the Kraang don’t sound like rampaging bureaucrats.
  • “Go no further. This place is a place where you are not allowed to be in this place. We have been seen in this place by you, so this is not a place that will be left by you.”
  • “It is the maker of the tech which was the tech that was of the Kraang.”
  • “Stop the ones that need to be stopped! Stop!”

See? They also have difficulty with personal pronouns, as shown in these lines.
  • “The image that is the image on the phone is pleasing to the eye of Kraang.”
  •  “Tell Kraang in what place can be found the power cell that Kraang wishes to find the place of.”
  • “Give to Kraang the power cell that Kraang has come to demand that you give to Kraang.”

Some people find them unfunny. I think their stilted speech patterns are hilarious, but I might have spent way too much time reading through RFPs that sound very much like the above. Now, thanks to the Kraang, I have yet another reason to giggle when reading through stuff that was written to be anything but entertaining. Life is good!
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